PDA

View Full Version : Sad, bad news



Bloory
14-11-2009, 08:49 PM
We heard one of our Scouts passed away last night. He'd suffered with Muscular Dystrophy all his life and whilst his health was worsening it came out of the blue.

I had contact with him, albeit electronically last night. His wit, good nature and intelligence shone through and I never heard him complain about his lot.

The news has been dreadful for me; I welled up when I saw the comments his friends put on his Facebook page.

How have others coped with similar situations? Do any of you have memorial awards or trophies? We'd like to do something positve, he was an ambassador for both Rainbows and the Muscular Dystrophy charity.

This post probably isn't the clearest, best piece of writing but here alone I need to get something out there.

RIP Harry, one of the best.

tomahawk
14-11-2009, 08:59 PM
How sad. :(

we have started an annual award for courage, named after a scoutmaster from WW2.

There is also a scout "Cornwell award", http://www.thescoutingpages.org.uk/cornwell.htm which I wonder if they would award posthumously?

One of our lads just recieved it - he was bron with a heart defect, and has been through many corrective surgeries, but never let it get in the way of his scouting!

MikeJ
14-11-2009, 09:18 PM
Very sad, RIP Harry :(

marcus
14-11-2009, 09:19 PM
When I was a scout we had a memorial trophy (for fishing) and a plaque avove the doorway to our main hall containing the belt (with chief scout's challenge buckle) of a former scout who died of leukemia in the late 1980s. I never knew him personally but many of the leaders and older members did, and I found out about him because of the memorials.

My condolences to the family, and may he rest in peace.

julian
14-11-2009, 09:29 PM
Condolences offered!

wolfie
14-11-2009, 09:50 PM
Oh how sad, but what a wonderful inspiration he will no doubt continue to be to the generations to come as well as those who knew him.

Not quite the same but when a long term supporter of scouting died we started an annual award per Section in his name - so maybe something to consider?

Here's what we put on our website to explain it a bit more

"Jack had himself been a keen Scout, as the entries from his book clearly show. He was a regular attendee at numerous scouting events, including the annual Big Breakfast, and using Scout Christmas Post for his local Christmas card deliveries.

He died in 2006 so we decided that we needed to find some fitting way to pay tribute to the great supporter of scouting Jack had been during his 93 years.

The Group decided to present an Award for each Section at the AGM each year. The Award is for the young person who has, in the leaders opinion, most reflected the scouting "spirit" which we expect from those who are out to make the most from their time with our Scout Group. This stems in no small part from the Promise and Law which each young person is expected to make and live up to, and their attitude and approach to the opportunities we offer."

http://www.scubes.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=262&Itemid=283

big chris
14-11-2009, 10:44 PM
Jon.

I have v. close and v recent experience.

Please pm me as am having a v busy week with funerals, camps, weeping kids etc and will prob forget when I'm back near my computer.

I have some ideas and advice

Bloory
14-11-2009, 10:47 PM
Thank you all for the suggestions and support.

I'm really surprised how much the news affected me. Harry had just been training/getting settled with a dog for the disabled. He had one or two things only to tick off to gain his gold award.

BigBadBaloo
14-11-2009, 11:03 PM
Jonathan,

Very sad news - I have one cub who has very serious and life threatening health issues. Each time he is not at pack meeting, I am concerned and I have now resolved to contact his parents more regularly.

One small suggestion - could you not "review" his gold award - you might find that he had indeed already covered all of the requirements?

RedCoat
14-11-2009, 11:11 PM
Many, many condolences.

I lost a pupil a while ago and it does hit hard. They don't have to be your kids for you to care about them.

Don't try to set up anything just yet. Talk with your Troop and give them time to decide, working with the family, what they would like to do as a memorial. This will be good for them and you.

I hope that the Scout Association will consider this thread as a nomination for a Cornwell Award for your Harry. I know that Gilwell read this, so hopefully someone will already be acting on it.

Bloory
14-11-2009, 11:22 PM
Of his peers, Harry was the Scout who had completed his award, the others are playing catch up. Hopefully we can sort something out, before too long.

Good suggestions re the award. Will see if I can manage, with the others to talk to the Troop this week.

Gadgette
14-11-2009, 11:24 PM
Jonathan, my heart goes out to you. The loss of a young life, especially one as courageous as Harry sounds, will hit hard.

Just recently I lost a dear colleague and friend suddenly but perhaps in hindsight not totally unexpectedly. It still shocks me now that the end came so quick. At the time, my friends and I started swapping happy and funny memories of him and it gave us great comfort. Around the same time it became apparent that his family knew very little about his working life or outside interests as he was very private. So, I came up with the idea of putting together a physical "Memory Book" to give to his family after the funeral and also for us all to share. Friends and past colleagues all emailed me their entries: some funny, some outrageous, some kind, touching, all with love - happy memories that mean my friend will not be forgotten. Some people took a lot of time. Entries poured in and I was able to amalgamate them in a Word doc in a tasteful display folder with frontsheet and dedication to his family. We made up 4 folders, one for each of his surviving sisters and brothers. Now when we, my colleagues and I, presented these Memory Books to his brothers and sisters I can honestly say it was one of the most emotional yet rewarding moments of my life. It meant so so much to them that their brother had good friends and was well liked and respected. They were overwhelmed. They have since requested further copies for other family members. Having something to physically hold ie the Memory "Book" rather than read online did give them comfort and a smile or two. I have been told they have re-read it several times and shared it. We shared it at work too and it was a joy in all the sadness.

So Jonathan how about capturing those happy memories of Harry? I would be happy to help in any way I can and even let you have a copy of my friend's Memory Book. We found it therapeutic and I hope you will to if you decide you like the idea.

Thoughts are with you.

giggles
15-11-2009, 08:09 AM
Sorry to hear about you loss.

A few years ago a friend lost his son aged 19, the family and especailly the father & son were into their hot rod cars. As a tribute to him one of the national car clubs they belonged to each year at their big show give out a special award to the under 25's in this lad memory. This year a friend's daughter, who was also a good friend of the lad that died won the award.

Baloo Doug
15-11-2009, 08:15 AM
How sad. :(

There is also a scout "Cornwell award", http://www.thescoutingpages.org.uk/cornwell.htm which I wonder if they would award posthumously?


Update to link, should be http://www.thescoutingpages.org.uk/cornwell.htm (http://www.thescoutingpages.org.uk/cornwell.htm)l.

This is my site and not sure how that page was left on the server when I last update site.

Sorry to hear of his death, but as Tomahawk says see if you can get the Cornwell Award awarded posthumously. I also talk to his paents and see if they would be happy for you to set up a award or sheild in his memory to be awarded to the Scouts at the end of the year for something

Iffacus
15-11-2009, 08:15 AM
Sorry to hear that Jonathon, I'm sure that I have met him during some of the camps and activities at Willesley over the past couple of years I have been involved in scouting at Appleby but I can't picture who he is.

Goose
15-11-2009, 01:42 PM
RIP harry.
My thoughts to you and his family

marcush
15-11-2009, 02:19 PM
sad to hear Jonothan, can't badges be tailered to people with special needs or a disability? He may of already earnt it with that taken in.

Richard
15-11-2009, 03:54 PM
Really sorry to read the news Jonathan.

Its always very sad when someone dies, but someone so young.

My thoughts are with the family and everyone else who Harry clearly effected, including you, Jon

Jeebie
15-11-2009, 08:16 PM
So to hear the news Jonathon.

Don't rush into organising anything yet. When it's not so 'raw' have a talk with the other scouts and get their views/ideas.

Whatever you decide, make sure you document somewhere who Harry was and how dedicated he was etc. In time to come it won't become 'just another award with a name' but will mean something to whoever achieves it for that year/whatever and then Harry's spirit will live on

Christine x

Dr.Stu..
15-11-2009, 09:23 PM
Death at such young age is just so tragic.

There is important Research into the Condition taking place in Oxford.

Neuromuscular Conditions are still a great plague to our children and young people,although Duchenne recognised the condition in a Group of Boys in the early part of the nineteenth century.

Our 'Children's and Young Peoples Chaplin' holds a special Service on Tuesday Mornings for any Young Patients and their Families and Friends. I will request that Harry be remembered in these Prayers.
Dr.Stu..

big chris
15-11-2009, 09:33 PM
this is sick... but well... it makes me laugh...

we are working with our kids following the death of a leader, i was prepared and did lots of research...

i went shopping at amazon last month and as well as the xbox360 game that i bought, it has a 'treat yourself' suggestions box... what treats it picked for me!

edit... mods... this can be removed if deemed to be in too poor taste...

Testarossa
19-11-2009, 10:05 AM
This is really sad news. We lost a Scout in our District about 3 years ago. He was due to take part in the annual District camping competition the following week when he was riding his bike to school and was hit by a lorry. It was a horrendous time for the whole town as the lad was very active in lots of clubs and was very well known.

We now have Adam's Challenge which is a different challenge each year. We have a shield that can be won by the Patrol who win the challenge.

The first year was an incident hike, second year was to build a gateway. This year was really well set up where puzzles had to be solved to get co-ordinates for a treehouse on school property (permission granted from the school!) where the "Chief Scout" had been captured. They had to use the equipment gained along the way to build a ladder and rescue the Chief Scout. I like the challenge as new Scouts coming through all get to know a litte bit about Adam. The award was presented by Adam's dad for the first 2 years.

There are lots of things you can do to keep his memory alive.

I think the hardest thing will be your first meeting back. Best wishes.

Bushfella
19-11-2009, 11:48 AM
Before you do anything. Let things settle. Different people react in different ways.

Death is always difficult for the bereaved, all the more so when the departed is a young person.

My thoughts are with you.