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Thread: Quick moan

  1. #1
    Senior Member CambridgeSkip's Avatar
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    Quick moan

    So I get an email from a scout mum. In it she says that she wants to speak to me directly regarding another boy in her son’s patrol (her son is a PL).

    My first thought is what’s all this about? The tone made it sound serious so I’m starting to think about bullying or fighting or thieving or something else major.

    So I gave her a call and she explains how this other child is “a bit of a day dreamer” and doesn’t always do as he told and doesn’t listen. Her son is finding this a bit frustrating and hard work so can I move the other child. Well what can I say! 12 year old boy in “bit of a day dreamer” shocker. Adolescent boy in “doesn’t always listen” sensation.

    Thankfully (given that she’s offered to help on a Mum’s rota) the natural diplomat in me over ruled the disturbed on a Sunday night part of me and rather than telling her to stop wasting my time I said I would “monitor the situation”.

    Sometimes I feel like people completely waste my time.

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    Account Closed Raksha's Avatar
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    After chuckling to myself over this one, I reflected on how pleased I am that I am no longer a SL! I think you have a parent here who is possibly ambitious for her child or whose child is ambitous for leadership and wants to progress. There is nothing wrong in this.
    I do think you are right to monitor the situation, but if the situation is as she says, I wouldn't move the PL, I would move the child and find him another Patrol if possible.

    Edit: I read the OP wrong, and didn't realise the parent was the PL's parent complaining about another member of the PL. Having re-read it, I wouldn't move either and would get the Patrols doing some team building.
    Last edited by Raksha; 16-11-2009 at 11:44 PM.

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    ESL and DESC ianw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CambridgeSkip View Post
    So I gave her a call and she explains how this other child is “a bit of a day dreamer” and doesn’t always do as he told and doesn’t listen. Her son is finding this a bit frustrating and hard work so can I move the other child.
    You could talk to the PL, it's a learning opportunity for him after all, he will work in teams where not everyone is willing to die for the cause, or give 100%, so now is as good a time as any to try and work through it.

    Ian
    Ian Wilkins
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  4. #4
    is awsome :P Goose's Avatar
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    I wouldn't move either to be honest. The lad should learn to deal with other scouts of varying degrees of interest
    AESL of Endurance and member of South Ribble Network - West Lancs County

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    Senior Member wolfie's Avatar
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    But just think how boring our life would be if we didn't have the parents to contend with too

    Like others I wouldn't move either. I'd have a word with all the PLs maybe about how to get the best out of their Patrol -using a few different character styles to see how they could tackle it.

    If his Mum queries I'd explain (diplomatically of course)that in life he's going to come across such people throughout adulthood, so what a great chance to learn, practice and develope the skill of dealing with / getting the best from such an individual and won't that help his furture leadership / managerial potential
    Louise

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    SM(s) julian's Avatar
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    I Agree with Goose and Wolfie (ooooooh eeeeerrrrrrr, isn't that a paradox, or a pantomine at least!!!) anyway...

    Leave the PL to deal with the Scout. Run a session with the PL's on discipline within the patrol sructure, discuss discipline in the patrol with the whole troop - some games to supplement chain of command etc... And finally, ask the parent what neck size she is, as it's difficult to gauge a prospective leaders collar size down the phone
    Yours in Scouting, Traditionally!

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    Senior Member CambridgeSkip's Avatar
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    Oh I never had any intention of moving anyone or doing anything. I just can't believe I had a parent on the phone over such a non issue.

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    Member of 9th Irene BOAST jediwannabe's Avatar
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    My answer would be a simple, straight "Your son must just learn to deal with it" answer (In actual fact that is an answer I have given a parent before). If you do anything about it then he will learn nothing that will help him in life.
    Assistant Troop Scouter for 9th Irene Air Scouts
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    Senior Member wolfie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CambridgeSkip View Post
    I just can't believe I had a parent on the phone over such a non issue.
    Lucky you - want to swap some of your parents for mine then
    Louise

    GSL 1st Fenstanton & Hilton Scout Group www.scubes.co.uk


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    -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

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    Quote Originally Posted by jediwannabe View Post
    My answer would be a simple, straight "Your son must just learn to deal with it" answer (In actual fact that is an answer I have given a parent before).
    Perhaps a more helpful answer is that you'll help their son learn how to deal with it. Although IIRC your PLs are older so probably more able to be left to learn by themselves.

  11. #11
    ESL - Young Leaders
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    parents!

    If it were me I would be miffed that a parent is talking to me about her son's patrol and not the PL. I wonder whether the PL concerned knew that his mother was contacting you? How embarrassing is that!

    My youngest PL who is 13 has a real struggle on his hands: his whole patrol are either day dreamers or individuals who haven't quite got the concept of teamwork yet. He plugs away though and wouldn't dream of asking for a Scout to be moved.
    Ruth

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    Im sorry but a mother has approached you to express a concern she has and wished to discuss with you in a manner which is not unreasonable.

    You have then posted this on a public forum where you openly state that it is a moan about the mother.

    Am i the only one to see what is wrong here??

    P
    No longer the Scout Leader - 3rd Colwyn Bay (Old Colwyn) Scout Group

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    DSNC Craftshill gregharewood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmccloskey View Post
    Im sorry but a mother has approached you to express a concern she has and wished to discuss with you in a manner which is not unreasonable.

    You have then posted this on a public forum where you openly state that it is a moan about the mother.

    Am i the only one to see what is wrong here??

    P
    Yup
    ...

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmccloskey View Post
    Im sorry but a mother has approached you to express a concern she has and wished to discuss with you in a manner which is not unreasonable.

    You have then posted this on a public forum where you openly state that it is a moan about the mother.

    Am i the only one to see what is wrong here??

    P
    ? This isn't a dig at the mother per se but rather the irony of a parent sending an email to a SL intimating that they need to speak about an important matter only for that leader on a Sunday evening to find that actually its quite trivial in the scheme of things and something actually that the PL should be dealing with himself with the said Leader without mummy interfering? Its the circumstance not the person being moaned about surely?
    Ruth

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  15. #15
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    All it is is a bit of banter about a situation that has come about.

    In reality when we get a call like that we are pleased that it is nothing more serious.

    Barney

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