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Thread: Those Terrorist Threat Warnings - A Sunday Smile!

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    Talking Those Terrorist Threat Warnings - A Sunday Smile!

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats And have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, Though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 When tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Ruddy Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Ruddy Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    The Scots raised their threat level from "P***** Off" to "Let's get the rotten scunners" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror Alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a Heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels Remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher Levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only Threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy Can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on All of their allies, just in case.

    And in the southern hemisphere...

    New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty Teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which Is "Jeez, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

    Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I Think we'll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend" and "The Barbie is Cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final Escalation level.

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    Account Closed Raksha's Avatar
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    Very funny, I love it.

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    is awsome :P Goose's Avatar
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    How bizarrre that you've just posted this! I just received this in an email from our other explorer leader
    Did make me laugh for a second time today though
    AESL of Endurance and member of South Ribble Network - West Lancs County

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    iDespair andypagett's Avatar
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    That's excellent!
    Terrible, wonderful, crazy, perfect.

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    Grey but not that old Alfbranch's Avatar
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    Thar made my day as I am already at work early today and needed cheering up.
    Alf

    Group Scout leader 1st Hensingham Scouts Western Lakes District
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    Cub Leader Baloo Doug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goose View Post
    How bizarrre that you've just posted this! I just received this in an email from our other explorer leader
    Did make me laugh for a second time today though
    I have also recently recieved this as an e-mail, made me laugh as well
    Douglas Gowan
    CSL Basingstoke Air Scouts

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    Senior Member Bushfella's Avatar
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    This weeks increased threat level made me laugh, never mind this.

    It was a real Sir Humphrey moment. " We have raised the Terrorist threat Level"

    "Yes, well we know that there is a threat and that the level is high, but we don't know what the threat is, when it will be executed or what the target is, but we do know that there is a threat....."
    Ewan Scott

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    Senior Member Ashbourne_Akela's Avatar
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    Senior Member aldamaster's Avatar
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    Excellent
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    Senior Member Jay Biggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bushfella View Post
    This weeks increased threat level made me laugh, never mind this.

    It was a real Sir Humphrey moment. " We have raised the Terrorist threat Level"

    "Yes, well we know that there is a threat and that the level is high, but we don't know what the threat is, when it will be executed or what the target is, but we do know that there is a threat....."
    Reminds me of that scene in Team America... ''We have No I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. I repeate, we have no intelligence"
    Being a Scout leader is a constant reminder why some animals eat their young.


    www.JaysBigAdventure.co.uk
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    Can I meet one representative of EVERY Scout Group in the UK?

    It's only one hour a week HONEST!
    )J(

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    Diversity Ambassador Lynn-Cubs's Avatar
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    Very funny, thanks for that!

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    Senior Member Andrew's Avatar
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    Brillant - duly copied and now on its way to my relatives in NZ.

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