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Thread: The thread which just won't die?

  1. #751
    Senior Member johnmcmahon's Avatar
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    This Skit is meant for Cub Scouts.
    Decide for yourself if it is appropriate for Don or not.


    Required:

    4 to 8 scouts and 1 leader

    Script:

    All scouts lay in a line sleeping with leader at one end and Scout #1 at the other.

    Scout #1: I gotta go Wee.
    (each scout passes the request down the line until it gets to the leader)
    leader: you'll have to hold it.
    (scouts pass the reply back)
    Scout #1: I really gotta go Wee.
    (pass it down)
    leader: No, go back to sleep.
    (pass it down)
    Scout
    #1
    : But, I REALLY, REALLY gotta go Wee.
    leader: Alright, go then!
    Scout #1: (stands up, runs around yelling) WEEEEEEEEE!

  2. #752
    Senior Member bernwood's Avatar
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    All this talk of wee is making me feel the need to go to the t................................................. ...............................oilet

  3. #753
    Senior Member roger-uk's Avatar
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    Make sure the janitor is not in residence
    Roger Woods
    Assistant Group Scout Leader,
    1st Sawley (All Saints) , Long Eaton

    NSRA Air Rifle instructor
    GNAS Archery Instructor
    County Archery Assessor
    Radio Amateur (G8XAN)

  4. #754
    Senior Member
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    Hmmm. Replace "Leader" with "Patrol Leader" (or Sixer), and the skit would be perfectly acceptable
    MatSav


    GSL 10th Feltham, Nights Away Adviser
    "Three Into One Will Go!"
    Thameside Grand Union District
    Scouting Throughout the London Borough of Hounslow
    in the Districts formerly known as Feltham, ABC, and H&I

  5. #755
    ASL Kev's Avatar
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    I hate that duck!

  6. #756
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kev View Post
    I hate that duck!
    Orville isn't a duck. IT'S A PUPPET!
    MatSav


    GSL 10th Feltham, Nights Away Adviser
    "Three Into One Will Go!"
    Thameside Grand Union District
    Scouting Throughout the London Borough of Hounslow
    in the Districts formerly known as Feltham, ABC, and H&I

  7. #757
    Senior Member johnmcmahon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatSav
    Orville isn't a duck. IT'S A PUPPET!
    What? No! I don't believe you! Next you'll be saying he can't fly!

    Or that a boy can't lose his shadow if it's not sewn on!

    TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK

  8. #758
    ASL Kev's Avatar
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    I wish I could fly high up in the sky

  9. #759
    a quiver full of barbs merryweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roger-uk View Post
    Make sure the janitor is not in residence
    i would hope by now you would have perfected your aim! and you flush the loo afterwards.

    tsk...there are some people who need to learn some 'man skills'! head over to that thread ------>

    TM

  10. #760
    Senior Member roger-uk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merryweather View Post
    i would hope by now you would have perfected your aim! and you flush the loo afterwards.

    tsk...there are some people who need to learn some 'man skills'! head over to that thread ------>

    TM
    Please sir me is still a CSL sir and it weren't me it BBB
    Roger Woods
    Assistant Group Scout Leader,
    1st Sawley (All Saints) , Long Eaton

    NSRA Air Rifle instructor
    GNAS Archery Instructor
    County Archery Assessor
    Radio Amateur (G8XAN)

  11. #761
    Very Old Member BigBadBaloo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roger-uk View Post
    Please sir me is still a CSL sir and it weren't me it BBB
    Oh no it wasn't!
    Peter

    Former CSL - 2nd Bracknell


    A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Lao Tzu (600 BC - 531 BC)

  12. #762
    a quiver full of barbs merryweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roger-uk View Post
    Please sir me is still a CSL sir and it weren't me it BBB
    such modesty!

    i wish i had time to cultivate modesty but i am too busy thinking about myself.

    TM

  13. #763
    Senior Member
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    There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
    MatSav


    GSL 10th Feltham, Nights Away Adviser
    "Three Into One Will Go!"
    Thameside Grand Union District
    Scouting Throughout the London Borough of Hounslow
    in the Districts formerly known as Feltham, ABC, and H&I

  14. #764
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    Quote Originally Posted by MatSav View Post
    There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
    Snipers in the rigging for example.

  15. #765
    a quiver full of barbs merryweather's Avatar
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    seeing as someone's talking about heaven and earth, i recall that day a long time ago when the big guy started things rolling...

    the very first day.

    God created the heavens and the earth.

    but without doing a risk assessment first!

    God said, 'let there be light'; and there was light.

    but the electricity board said He would have to wait until thursday later that week to be connected.

    and God saw the light and it was good.

    He then saw the quarterly bill and that was not good.

    God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

    but He forgot to make lunch so he went hungry.

    God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water."

    and stoked the wrath of united utilities (and every other water company) who had just seen half of their capital stock taken away from them without any thought.

    God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.”

    which prompted the government to issue a hose pipe ban to counter the drought.

    God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.”

    which didn't exactly please the tobacco companies who now had to mess about getting rid of all these seeds from their nice cigars.

    God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.

    but got everything mixed up so that the international astronomy union had to correct his mistake and relegate pluto to a dwarf planet.

    “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.”

    so now you know who to blame when you get stung by jelly-fish the next time you go for a swim or get bombed by the pigeons above.

    God said: “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.”

    and all the butchers and TESCOs thanked Him but those who stepped in the dog-dirt raised their fists at Him.

    Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image".

    go look in the mirror and ask yourself: did He do a good job or should He have gone to SpecSavers?

    And on the seventh day God rested.

    wouldn't you need a rest after such an horrendous week?

    The following monday He started thinking about redrafting His plan....you do not want to hear about that....

    TM

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