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Thread: Parents Who Want To Stay With New Beavers

  1. #1
    Senior Member lakes_stu's Avatar
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    Parents Who Want To Stay With New Beavers

    I suspect most of us are happy for a parent to stay with a Beaver on their first night. We certainly are. They are generally invited (and positively encouraged) to join in, as we feel we can 'plant the seed' this way.

    The question is, if parents want to stay for another week or two, where do you draw a line with regard to needing a DBS? If everything was black and white, they would only be able to stay for the first week before the 'one week in five' clause of needing a DBS kicks in.

    Quite a few have no intention of being involved once their child has settled in, but that can take a few weeks.

    What do you do? Also, if the parent is around but takes no part in the meeting (may or may not wait in the foyer).

    Opinions please!
    All posts represent my own opinions only. In no way do they speak for anyone else, including (but not limited to) my group, district, county or HQ.

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    Senior Member lakes_stu's Avatar
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    Sorry, I know the answer to this is 'apply common sense', which is what we do.

    I'm just interested in what others do.
    All posts represent my own opinions only. In no way do they speak for anyone else, including (but not limited to) my group, district, county or HQ.

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    Medicationed BenOfThe12th's Avatar
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    More than happy to have parents stay and help whenever they want.
    Extra hands and all that...
    Plus it saves me formulating an official parent rota..

    ** Warning ** I like my humour Very DRY, same as my Martinis, so don't take anything personally..

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    AESL & AGSL shiftypete's Avatar
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    If they are just sat on the side observing then they are not performing a regulated role regardless of how often they attend and so should not be DBS checked

    Peter Andrews AESL of Headingley Pirates ESU, Assistant Group Scout Leader & Webmaster of Falkoner Scout Group
    www.falkonerscouts.org.uk

    Wike, North Leeds District Campsite - www.wikecampsite.org.uk
    www.leeds-solar.co.uk
    Please note all views expressed are my own and not those of any organisation I'm associated with

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    It depends whether the parent wants to stay to allay the child's trepidation or their own. If the issue is with the child then most parents, I think, would want to try time away - stay for a while, go off to do something, come back early.
    John Russell
    ex-CSL now ACSL 1st Pinhoe Exeter Devon
    Cubs don't care how much you know, but they need to know how much you care.

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    Scout Leader (Bosun) Nick's Avatar
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    When my son first joined Beavers he was very shy so Mrs Nick stayed with him, she helped and joined in and has now been a Beaver Leader for many years. If the mother is staying then get her to join in, you may get another leader!

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    Senior Member lakes_stu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nick View Post
    When my son first joined Beavers he was very shy so Mrs Nick stayed with him, she helped and joined in and has now been a Beaver Leader for many years. If the mother is staying then get her to join in, you may get another leader!
    That's the plan

    In all seriousness, it sounds like we are taking the right approach.
    All posts represent my own opinions only. In no way do they speak for anyone else, including (but not limited to) my group, district, county or HQ.

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    Man in a daft hat Hatman's Avatar
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    Nothing unusual about having parents stay. Some children can be very shy even for weeks on end. I always try to give parents a job to do while they are there. No need for a DBS unless you do manage to slip that scarf round their neck.

    I once had a new Beaver called Florence (not real name) who was known to the Leaders as "Florence the Wuss". She spent about the first 6 weeks just sitting in a corner not joining in anything. Even her mother gave up staying at the meetings. Then, one day, she got up out of the corner and joined in everything. She's a Scout now. It was worth having her mother there for a while and she was (and still is) very helpful.

    Just do it.

    Nigel
    Norfolk Broads
    ABSL 1st Hoveton and Wroxham Sea Scouts
    www.hovetonandwroxhamscouts.org.uk

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    Assistant Beaver Leader Keith's Avatar
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    We very rarely have parents of new starters stay - they are generally busy with the GSL after they have introduced their child to the BSL, who talks to the child about Beavers and tells them whos who before finding a buddy in their new lodge, or someone they know from school. The parents then go next door to see our GSL who does the whole introduction to Scouting thing for the parents and fills out all the paperwork. We did have one parent who stayed for a few weeks as their child was really shy and was struggling to settle in but they were already an OH in the group (this was their 3rd child to join).

    If a parent does want to stay, get them involved, give them jobs. If their child really needs them they are in the building, but they aren't in the room watching and fussing over them and leave their child to join in with the activities. If they want to keep coming and helping, then they might like to volunteer and go through appointments.

    You can generally tell if a child really needs their parent to be there or to stay - if its just the parent fussing, then get them out the way.
    Keith "Hawkeye"
    Assistant Beaver Scout Leader (Woodbadge)
    Ex Colony Assistant & DofE Helper
    1st Ingleby Barwick (St Francis) Scout Group

    Ex DofE Helper (Beavers), 1st Egglescliffe (St John's) Scout Group



    http://www.inglebybarwickscouts.org.uk

    WE NEED MORE ADULT VOLUNTEERS!
    Volunteer at 1st Ingleby Barwick Scout Group
    Assistant Section Leaders, Sectional Assistants, etc.


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    I asked the Information Centre about this a few years ago. The official line is that, even if they are just sitting on the side lines, they are attending the meeting and must be DBSd according to normal criteria. We found this useful for getting rid of the mothers who were treating beaver meetings as an extension of the school gate and seemed to stay just to chat to each other.

  13. #11
    AESL & AGSL shiftypete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frith View Post
    I asked the Information Centre about this a few years ago.
    How many years ago did you ask? Was it in the days of the CRB rather than DBS? If so the the law and rules around disclosures changed and its more restricted when you are allowed to do a disclosure check on someone now than it was under the CRB.

    Peter Andrews AESL of Headingley Pirates ESU, Assistant Group Scout Leader & Webmaster of Falkoner Scout Group
    www.falkonerscouts.org.uk

    Wike, North Leeds District Campsite - www.wikecampsite.org.uk
    www.leeds-solar.co.uk
    Please note all views expressed are my own and not those of any organisation I'm associated with

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    a quiver full of barbs merryweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lakes_stu View Post
    The question is, if parents want to stay for another week or two, where do you draw a line with regard to needing a DBS? If everything was black and white, they would only be able to stay for the first week before the 'one week in five' clause of needing a DBS kicks in.
    what is this 'one week in five' clause? please explain.

    TM
    going...going...

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    Quote Originally Posted by merryweather View Post
    what is this 'one week in five' clause? please explain.
    One of the triggering factors (according to TSA) for a DBS is helping once a month or more. One week in five is not quite once a month (mostly).

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    Our County policy is first week only: after that then DBS needed. I would prefer to be more .... relaxed....especially where a child is uncertain, but have to be careful as my YL is the son of the DC...
    Michelle Barlow

    BSL for 3rd Codnor

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    AESL & AGSL shiftypete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chell View Post
    Our County policy is first week only: after that then DBS needed. I would prefer to be more .... relaxed....especially where a child is uncertain, but have to be careful as my YL is the son of the DC...
    Your County Policy is wrong and in fact illegal (its not legal to DBS check someone that does not meet the qualifying criteria which sitting on the side of a Scouting meeting for two weeks most certainly does not) and you should feel free to ignore it

    Peter Andrews AESL of Headingley Pirates ESU, Assistant Group Scout Leader & Webmaster of Falkoner Scout Group
    www.falkonerscouts.org.uk

    Wike, North Leeds District Campsite - www.wikecampsite.org.uk
    www.leeds-solar.co.uk
    Please note all views expressed are my own and not those of any organisation I'm associated with

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