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Thread: Dealing with 'That one child'

  1. #46
    ASL Kev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattR View Post
    You're right, if the parents don't want to help then it's another story. There is a lot of denial when it comes to adhd, or kids with unusual problems. I'm not saying this is adhd, just wondering.
    There also appear to be, possibly more, parents chasing a label for the child that they find difficult to deal with. When said child turns up at Scouts with a long list of their behavioural problems and medication required, they seem pretty normal.

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    Senior Member Puzzledbyadream's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kev View Post
    There also appear to be, possibly more, parents chasing a label for the child that they find difficult to deal with. When said child turns up at Scouts with a long list of their behavioural problems and medication required, they seem pretty normal.
    Probably because they're on the right medication. Personally I think its good that things are getting picked up in childhood a lot more. I know several adults with ADD (without the hyperactivity) who never had a diagnosis at school because they weren't hyperactive but have spent their whole life struggling to pay attention. I myself was diagnosed with dyspraxia in adulthood, something which actually did make it hard for me to fit social norms as a child. I can think of an occasion where I wandered off on a Guide trip to London because I got distracted looking at something, and got told off, and was utterly bewildered as to why the leaders were so cross. Or all the times I struggled with a physical task and got angry or cried instead of having the resilience to try again.

    I (trainee) teach and the kids with the worst Social, Emotional and Mental Health problems won't be the ones coming to Scouts. Since the 2015 Code of Practice, "behavioural issues" haven't been a thing, because behaviour is now understood as communication, and pretty much always as a consequence of a social, emotional or mental health issue.

    Of course there's always going to be those at Scouts with ADHD (fairly easy to deal with if they are medicated, harder if not, often a case of giving them lots of jobs to do and keeping them busy and thus out of trouble), and Scouts with the sort of trauma-related anxiety which leads to them having meltdowns or lashing out at others. But the types who are outright violent, or into drugs, are generally not the type to put a green shirt and necker on every week.

    On psychopathy, I'm not a big believer in its common existence (having read The Psychopath Test). But I'm a big believer in our early childhood shaping us into the person we are, and honestly believe most poor behaviour is a result of this. Philip Larkin had it right tbh.
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  4. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puzzledbyadream View Post
    Probably because they're on the right medication. Personally I think its good that things are getting picked up in childhood a lot more. I know several adults with ADD (without the hyperactivity) who never had a diagnosis at school because they weren't hyperactive but have spent their whole life struggling to pay attention. I myself was diagnosed with dyspraxia in adulthood, something which actually did make it hard for me to fit social norms as a child. I can think of an occasion where I wandered off on a Guide trip to London because I got distracted looking at something, and got told off, and was utterly bewildered as to why the leaders were so cross. Or all the times I struggled with a physical task and got angry or cried instead of having the resilience to try again.

    I (trainee) teach and the kids with the worst Social, Emotional and Mental Health problems won't be the ones coming to Scouts. Since the 2015 Code of Practice, "behavioural issues" haven't been a thing, because behaviour is now understood as communication, and pretty much always as a consequence of a social, emotional or mental health issue.

    Of course there's always going to be those at Scouts with ADHD (fairly easy to deal with if they are medicated, harder if not, often a case of giving them lots of jobs to do and keeping them busy and thus out of trouble), and Scouts with the sort of trauma-related anxiety which leads to them having meltdowns or lashing out at others. But the types who are outright violent, or into drugs, are generally not the type to put a green shirt and necker on every week.

    On psychopathy, I'm not a big believer in its common existence (having read The Psychopath Test). But I'm a big believer in our early childhood shaping us into the person we are, and honestly believe most poor behaviour is a result of this. Philip Larkin had it right tbh.
    Agree with all of this.

    The behaviour-as-communication is also a very incisive idea. I'm a fairly down to earth, strictly non-touchy-feely type of person. But, there is always room to at east try and understand then make the best compromise you can people around you.

    I also used to get quite frustrated when people pointed out kids who had this or that diagnosis saying "but they're fine, it's all just made up" never understanding that having the diagnosis in the first place meant they were 'fine'. Also making that judgement on a two hour slot once a week...

    I don't think we've ever had a proper psychopath in Scouts in all the years I've been involved. I just don't think you can make that assertion about adolescent or pre-adolescent children. However, there are some outliers here and there, so it can't be ruled out. Psychopathy isn't a binary thing either, you can have a person with facets of it who is able to attenuate their more instinctive urges. I think those people are more common, but still a tiny minority in the bigger picture.

    We're all somewhat a victim of the group dynamic, even leaders. If you have a kid acting out and pulling others along with him/her. The leaders may not have time to ask "what is being communicated here", we just have to remove the problem and deal with it later.

    This is one of the things I find most interesting about being involved in Scouts, all the interactions, and why people do the things they do. It's fascinating stuff.

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