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Thread: Explorers/Young Leader and Scout interactions

  1. #16
    Senior Member Bushfella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pa_broon74 View Post
    Relationships between young people in scouts has always been problematic.

    Not much you can do about it obvs, but rarely does it end well - at least, that's been our experience.
    You could really just say "relationships between young people have always been problematic... in fact... cut out the young people bit too...
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    Quote Originally Posted by pa_broon74 View Post
    Relationships between young people in scouts has always been problematic.

    Not much you can do about it obvs, but rarely does it end well - at least, that's been our experience.
    We've been married for 35 years after being in the same joint Venture/Ranger unit

    To be fair, we didn't meet through Scouting and Guiding, but through church. And in those days you rather took it for granted that you were in a group activity to be part of the group, rather than to be a couple.

    We've been in uniform for most of the time since (barring when away as students).
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    Thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts. Got a bit of discussion going :-)
    I have a couple of copies of the Orange card to replace his yellow one but will just really push on him the importance of common sense and acting appropropriately. The parents are friends and they aften travel together due to work commitments/car shares. Our GSL is pretty old school and there was a reason we were one of the last (if not the last) group in our district to get girls. He also likes to make mountains out of molehills!

    Our district explorer provision has shut down and the most local units now aren't convenient. We dont have enough young people to support our own section nor the adults to take it on. I spoke to another leader who also has scouts reaching explorer age so we are going to see if we can get some links.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DKRSL View Post
    We've been married for 35 years after being in the same joint Venture/Ranger unit

    To be fair, we didn't meet through Scouting and Guiding, but through church. And in those days you rather took it for granted that you were in a group activity to be part of the group, rather than to be a couple.

    We've been in uniform for most of the time since (barring when away as students).
    Yup...

    It's lovely when it works... When it doesn't? It can tear an older section apart.

    It was a failed relationship that spelled the end of Venture Scouts down our way... It was a proper drama, worthy of a soap opera. To be honest, even when they were 'happy' together, it was an absolute chore dealing with it all.

    In the end, the Unit deserved to be put out of it's misery.


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    Senior Member Ker-stee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pa_broon74 View Post
    Yup...

    It's lovely when it works... When it doesn't? It can tear an older section apart.

    It was a failed relationship that spelled the end of Venture Scouts down our way... It was a proper drama, worthy of a soap opera. To be honest, even when they were 'happy' together, it was an absolute chore dealing with it all.

    In the end, the Unit deserved to be put out of it's misery.

    A failed relationship and all the politics between their ‘friends’ forced our Network to close.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Ker-stee View Post
    A failed relationship and all the politics between their ‘friends’ forced our Network to close.


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    Yup.

    Same with us. Not only did the relationship end, it was broken up by another VS, who then started going out with one half of the erstwhile couple, which left the half that was left particularly miffed. Saying that, they're married with kids now.

    Even so, neither of them acted particularly honourably, which was reflected in politics that closely followed shut the unit down.

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    Maybe I should be glad I do the Scout section...
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  8. #23
    ESL and DESC ianw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DKRSL View Post
    Maybe I should be glad I do the Scout section...
    It's okay, Ventures doesn't exist any more.

    For balance: Our last batch of Ventures was a big group of friends, probably 10-12 of them, plus a few stragglers, the main group were very welcoming, and there were three pretty solid couples in there, though I believe they may not have all started out in the same pairings. Those three couples are now married, 5 kids between them, another Network (but from the Venture era) couple that met at Theme Park Camp are now married. So, it's not all drama and schisms!
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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by DKRSL View Post
    Maybe I should be glad I do the Scout section...
    Hmmm...

    Don't speak too soon - Ian is right enough, even our schism produced a strong and enduring relationship with at least two or three more coming from connections made via members with non-members. That doesn't mean these things don't happen at Scout age, they just manifest in different ways - indeed, at Scout age, it can be even worse.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pa_broon74 View Post
    Yup.

    Same with us. Not only did the relationship end, it was broken up by another VS, who then started going out with one half of the erstwhile couple, which left the half that was left particularly miffed. Saying that, they're married with kids now.

    Even so, neither of them acted particularly honourably, which was reflected in politics that closely followed shut the unit down.
    Seen it in Explorers too where a unit went down to about half it's number over similar arguments after a break up. However I'm not sure about the honourable behaviour bit, teens notoriously lack empathy which I seem to recall isn't fully developed until well into the twenties so I think we probably forlornly expect honourable behaviour at that age...

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    Quote Originally Posted by RisingStar View Post
    Seen it in Explorers too where a unit went down to about half it's number over similar arguments after a break up. However I'm not sure about the honourable behaviour bit, teens notoriously lack empathy which I seem to recall isn't fully developed until well into the twenties so I think we probably forlornly expect honourable behaviour at that age...
    The main players were certainly old enough to know when they were hurting each other and otherwise behaving in a way that wasn't conducive to normal relationships. I would say mid to late teens should already be well able to tell the difference between right and wrong and be developing empathetic skills. I get that their impulse controls may still be developing, as they get older, after the fact, they should at least - in hindsight - be able to appreciate when actions proved to be wrong. That wasn't happening, the third party was entirely unapologetic about what he was doing.

    I still don't really know why he thought it was okay to do what he did, well, I have an idea knowing him as I did all the way through scouts... They completely ostracized themselves - and that was their peer group, heck, the two guys involved were best friends for years leading up to it.

    And the girl involved did nothing to distance herself or assuage what she admitted was becoming problematic...

    Anyway, it was years ago. Fascinating in terms of group dynamics and the effects of mixed gender groupings... But hugely tiresome to deal with when you're up north and they're all crying and/or at each other's throats.

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