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Thread: Snowflake parents

  1. #16
    Baloo KoopaCooper's Avatar
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    We once had a situation where one of the Cubs didn't turn up to the District Swimming Gala. His mum dropped him off the following Friday to Cubs and apologised to Akela. The exchange apparently went something like this:

    Parent "I'm so sorry Johnny wasn't at the Swimming Gala last Saturday"
    Akela "Oh that's alright - did something happen? Were you out that day? Did family come to visit?"
    Parent "No, nothing like that"
    Akela "Ah, don't tell me - he was grounded for being naughty?"
    Parent "Not this time, no - it's just that it was raining last Saturday and I didn't want him to get wet and catch a cold"

    I kid you not!!!
    1988 - 1990: 4th Streatham Sea Scouts (PMLO), Beaver
    1990 - 1998: 1st Streatham Common, Cub & Scout
    2004 - 2011: 1st Streatham Common, OH
    2011 - 2012: 1st Streatham Common, CSSA
    2012 - 2019: 1st Streatham Common, ACSL
    2019 on: 1st Streatham Common, GSL

    Lambeth - The best Scout District in England!


  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard T View Post
    Sometimeswith the cub section we get a "to young to go on a camp/night away from home " from parents.
    and now for the first time, we've had a not going because he is to young to go on a day trip on a coach - coach to nearby campsite (kibblestone) for an activity day
    We had "too young to go camping" with a Scout once. We did point out gently to the parent that all his friend had been camping at Beavers and Cubs! Apparently the child had never spent a night away from home before - felt quite sorry for him as must have missed the residential trips at school.

    We also regularly had issues with moving up due to it being a bit late for their bedtime... 9pm on a Friday. It was a shame those kids missed out, but ultimately if the parents are that fussy about a Friday bedtime, would we really want all the challenges that would happen when we organised a camp?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard T View Post
    Sometimeswith the cub section we get a "to young to go on a camp/night away from home " from parents.
    and now for the first time, we've had a not going because he is to young to go on a day trip on a coach - coach to nearby campsite (kibblestone) for an activity day
    We had "too young to go camping" with a Scout once. We did point out gently to the parent that all his friend had been camping at Beavers and Cubs! Apparently the child had never spent a night away from home before - felt quite sorry for him as must have missed the residential trips at school.

    We also regularly had issues with moving up due to it being a bit late for their bedtime... 9pm on a Friday. It was a shame those kids missed out, but ultimately if the parents are that fussy about a Friday bedtime, would we really want all the challenges that would happen when we organised a camp?

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Beaver View Post
    Ok, so it was a bit windy last night, with some high gusts, and rain was forecast (but exactly how much and when was open to interpretation as none of the forecasts agreed) but... a couple of hours before our meeting (a "night hike" in local country park) I get 3 emails:Pls accept apologies for ******* tonight ( if you are going ahead) the weather is so very wild would be concerned.

    Apologises, but due to the weather conditions tonight and hiking through the woods, we feel it’s a bit unsafe for ******* to attend tonight if it was to go ahead. Sorry.

    Unfortunately ****** won’t be at Cubs tonight. I’m not sure I would be happy for him to do a night hike in this weather anyway!



    So I'm getting rather exasperated and the term "snowflakes" is firmly in my head when when this exchange occurs

    parent: Just wondering, given the weather, if tonight's walk is still going ahead?
    me: yes
    parent: Brilliant! They'll love be out in this. Blow the cobwebs away for sure!! Have fun! 😉

    My mood improved no end!

    The walk went ahead, 18 Cubs turmed up and had a whale of a time - the rain held off, the winds were nowhere near as strong as predicted and the mud was muddy!
    (and yes, we did have back up plans...)
    As the BSL to these Cubs and a parent to one of them, I am laughing!! We live in a part of the country that rarely gets the extreme weather that the rest of the country gets, and indeed, it wasn't that bad on the evening. And although as mum I was wondering whether it would go ahead I trust my CSL! Isn't that why parents send their children to scouts in the first place, to expand their safe space?! To do things Mum and Dad wouldn't do like go for a walk in the dark??
    Brave Bear BSL
    1st Weald Brook
    http://www.1stwealdbrook.org.uk/

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  5. #19
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    a good few years back, we had an activity camp at a water centre, and we hada few places, so we opened it up to the Explorer Scouts , we knew most of them as Ex-scouts.
    All was well, except for one unknown 15, almost 16 Year old ES ( who hadn't been through the Scout section and to all intents and purposes was new to Scouting) from whose parents we had a barrage of questions from a worried mum.
    It turned out that this was the lads first time away from home, overnight without parents - no special needs or anything else, just protective parents.
    The parents also journeyed up to this activity centre, so they could watch from the other side of the river bank and check all was OK.
    The weekend went well, without incident or so we thought, until pick up time , to get to this centre you need to use a small boat, and this lads mum wanted to pick him up early, there was a short wait while the boat driver ( pilot? captain? ) was having lunch and as it wasnt an emergency this was explained, to an unhappy parent.

    Following on from this we received a compliant that this lad had been deliberately excluded form a bar-be-cue and as a result had gone hungry and without food, this was on the first night where we had made it clear that the first meal would be on Saturday morning, and those attending must either eat before arrival ( 7:30pm) or bring some food with them. We can usually rustle something up if required. The Bar-be- cue was no more than a group of guides round a fire with incinerating popcorn in a sieve with who we sat with round the fire being sociable, the lad in question didn't want to stay near the fire, as he was feeling tied and went off to his tent.
    Other than a flurry of complaints from parents and from upon high in Scouting nothing more was heard

  6. #20
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    Having lost track of the number of times we've had kids arrive having been told "friday dinner is not provided", having not eaten... we decided it was best to always provide some form of supper on the friday evening - even if it was just heating some tinned soup and serving with a roll.

  7. #21
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    Having lost track of the number of times we've had kids arrive having been told "friday dinner is not provided", having not eaten... we decided it was best to always provide some form of supper on the friday evening - even if it was just heating some tinned soup and serving with a roll.

  8. #22
    The unpaid help ASLChris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by campwarden View Post
    Having lost track of the number of times we've had kids arrive having been told "friday dinner is not provided", having not eaten... we decided it was best to always provide some form of supper on the friday evening - even if it was just heating some tinned soup and serving with a roll.
    We usually do hot dogs in a bun on Friday nights for the same reason!


  9. #23
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    I don't suppose it occurs to any of you, ever, that the lack of trust, information, concern, messages getting through might sit with the leaders, not just the parents?!

  10. #24
    ASL and YLUL wealdbrook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RisingStar View Post
    I don't suppose it occurs to any of you, ever, that the lack of trust, information, concern, messages getting through might sit with the leaders, not just the parents?!
    Of course it occurs - that is why we try to publish relevant information well in advance. For instance I am taking the Scouts on the London Monopoly Run in March, something we have done for the last two years. One parent emailed to ask for a bit more information because I had failed to make it clear that we would all be travelling to London together, answered that and got the form and cheque for the Scout this week.
    No problems at all if parents ask for more information but it is disappointing if they enroll their children in an organisation which is all about adventure and developing skills for life, and then doubt the capability or wisdom of the leaders. They are often the same parents who decline to take part on parent rotas and drop their children off without even looking to see what they will be doing.
    John Alexander,
    ASL and Assistant Webmaster
    1st Weald Brook
    http://www.1stwealdbrook.org.uk
    ESL(YL) Brentwood District

  11. #25
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    One of the issues we have is no matter what we send out, email, letter (to yp at meeting night) letter delivered by post letter hand delivered, text message, Osm etc, sometimes no matter what its not read, acknowledged or ignored

  12. #26
    Senior Member Bushfella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard T View Post
    One of the issues we have is no matter what we send out, email, letter (to yp at meeting night) letter delivered by post letter hand delivered, text message, Osm etc, sometimes no matter what its not read, acknowledged or ignored
    Oh, that is not an issue just with parents. It is also an issue with Leaders - I think Leaders failing to read and communicate is worse than parents not reading a letter.

    I shall avoid a recent conversation that revolved around a GSL not passing on information...
    Ewan Scott

    It seems that there are a lot of Nawyecka Comanch around....





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  13. #27
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    Let me give an example. A few years back, one of our explorer leaders had a crew seated land rover without seat belts in the rear. Without going into the legalities I, and the leader, believed it to be legal at the time, I think it still is.

    He was planning to take a few explorers on a trip. However, in the opinion of the parents - and to be honest myself - they didn't feel it would be safe in the case of an accident and they refused to let their children travel in the LR, I think parents then gave a lift by car. However that pretty much destroyed trust - the parents couldn't trust that leader to look after their children if he had been prepared to transport their children in a "clearly" unsafe manner.

    Does that make them snowflake? I think not, but once the trust was gone I can see a quizzical eye being raised at *any* activity !

  14. #28
    ESL and DESC ianw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RisingStar View Post
    I don't suppose it occurs to any of you, ever, that the lack of trust, information, concern, messages getting through might sit with the leaders, not just the parents?!
    ...but, but....I'm practically perfect in every way!

    Yes. Never forget. It's always the leader's fault.
    Ian Wilkins
    Farnham District Explorer Scout Commissioner

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  15. #29
    Senior Member Bushfella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ianw View Post
    ...but, but....I'm practically perfect in every way!

    Yes. Never forget. It's always the leader's fault.

    You are being supercilious Ian.

    We are all aware of the communications failures that arise when Leaders fail to pass on information to each other or to their youth members - for whatever reason. It is not acceptable for a Leader to withhold information of an opportunity because he simply does not like the Leader promoting that activity, for example.

    There is this little thing called the Law and Promise...
    Last edited by Bushfella; 17-01-2020 at 12:38 PM.
    Ewan Scott

    It seems that there are a lot of Nawyecka Comanch around....





    Nawyecka Comanch'": "Means roundabout--man says he's going one way, means to go t'other" Ethan Edwards - The Searchers



    www.upperdearnevalleynavigators.org.uk

  16. #30
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    Just had another side of this.

    Colleague came in to talk to me - his son had had his first night at Beavers last night, which he'd really enjoyed. Anyway in a couple of weeks time they've got a sleepover - colleague pretty gung ho about the lad going but his wife has reservations (kid never been away without family before - grandparents yes but not independently, hardly knows leaders etc yet). So he was worried that if they decided on this occasion it was too early, whether they'd be looked at as difficult parents.

    Anyway we had a decent conversation about it - I explained that they'd have done this before, that the likely course of events for the evening was going to the panto (reason for the sleepover) get back to the hut, settle down in sleeping bags after a hot chocolate and they'd all be sparko in seconds - maybe with a bedtime story read to them as they were in their sleeping bags. Best option was to let the kid go, but say to the leader that if they thought he was struggling, to give them a call and they'd collect - but not to mention this to the kid in case it created a problem that otherwise didn't exist.

    I don't doubt the leaders are capable, and no doubt hard pressed on an evening to remember that the four new kids possibly needed a bit more communication and reassurance to parents than maybe those that have done nights away before. Hopefully in this case I've helped both the parents and leaders by doing the reassurance bit for them.
    Does anyone know what's going on?

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